One Big Happy
by Rick Detorie
Copyright © 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 by Creators Syndicate, Inc.
Copyright © 2012 by creators.com
Copyright © 2018, 2020, 2023 by Rick Detorie
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| 2003 | 9/28 |
Ruthie:
Grandpa says that families are Nature’s way of keeping people from fighting with strangers!
Joe:
Yeah!
Rose:
Nick!
Nick:
Rose, are we going to have to fight over this again?
Ruthie and Joe:
See?
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| 2004 | 5/30 |
Ruthie:
How come “Phonics” isn’t spelled with an “F”?
| Topic: Spelling
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below: text checked (see note) when added
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| 2005 | 3/2 |
Ruthie:
They’re going to kick you out of kindergarten if you don’t know your numbers! James, I know this stuff, and I can help you! Remember, in this world there are three kinds of people: those who can count ... and those who can’t!
James:
Huh?
| Topics: Mathematics
Two kinds
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| 12/14 |
James:
What’s a jury?
Ruthie:
It’s a bunch of people who sit around and listen to both sides of the story ... and then decide who has the better lawyer.
| Topic: Law
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| 2006 | 9/1 |
Nick:
Marriage is like any other job. It’s much easier when you like your boss.
| Topic: Marriage
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| 12/4 |
Ruthie:
Excuse me, you shouldn’t be mean to your dog like that!
Mean person:
Excuse me, don’t you know that silence is golden?
Ruthie:
Excuse me, not according to my grandpa! He says sometimes it’s just plain yellow!
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| 2007 | 1/2 |
Joe:
I’ll do most of the comic book, Ruthie. Maybe you can help color it.
Ruthie:
No fair, Joe! I can draw! And I’m a good word maker upper and putting downer on paper, too!
Joe:
You mean a writer?
Ruthie:
Yeah, I’m a great one!
| Topic: Writing
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| 6/11 |
Ruthie:
Mom, what are nudie tales?
Ellen:
What?
Ruthie:
The man who says the news said some cars crashed in the fog! And then he said he had nudie tales at eleven!
Ellen:
New details, Ruthie.
Ruthie:
Yeah, can I stay up and watch ’em?
| Topic: Puns
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| 2008 | 3/3 |
Ruthie:
What’s taking them so long?!
Nick:
They’ll be here soon, Ruthie. We have to be patient and wait.
Ruthie:
Well, we need to wait a lot faster!
| Topic: Time
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| 10/2 |
Ruthie:
Why do I always have to know what I’m talking about, Joe? What kind of world would it be if everybody could only say stuff that made sense?
Joe:
A much quieter world!
| Topic: Rhetoric
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| 2009 | 8/15 |
Rose:
Channel 5’s movie is about “a saucy career woman who’s morally flexible...” Oh, my!
Ruthie:
What does that mean, Grandma?
Rose:
Uh... It means she’s a working woman who’s inclined to use spaghetti sauce from a jar!
Ruthie:
I don’t think that’s it, but I’ll let it go for now.
Rose:
Thank you, dear.
| Topic: Morality
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| 2010 | 1/21 |
Nick:
[...] you never hear of a man being shot by his wife while doing the dishes.
| Topic: Marriage
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| 2012 | 7/4 |
friend:
You’ve had a good long marriage, Nick. What’s your secret?
Nick:
My Uncle Carlo once told me “You’ll save a lot of trouble if you marry your second wife first.” So I did.
friend:
Huh?
| Topic: Advice
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| 11/27 |
Nick [reading]:
For the most part, the protest outside of the restaurant was peaceful until late in the day when souffles broke out in the crowd.
Spell check strikes again!
Rose:
That’s the best one yet!
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| 2020 | 8/25 |
Nick:
Roy, how long have you been driving?
Roy:
Sixty-five years, and I ain’t never had an accident, though I did have a close call. I swerved my pickup to avoid a tree... but realized it was my air freshener.
| Topic: Driving
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2023 | 8/31 |
Frank:
What’s your fortune cookie say, Joe?
Joe:
“A thousand plus two is your lucky number today.”
It’s not a fortune; it’s a stinkin’ math problem!
| | 2024 | 2/1
(from 2018) |
Ruthie:
Mom, shouldn’t RV be WRV?
Wrecked reational vehicle has three words.
Ellen:
Ruthie, we’ll talk about this tomorrow. Go back to bed, please.
Frank:
Reational is a word?
Ellen:
Good night, Frank.
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2/28
(from 2018) |
Ruthie:
Joe, what’s a cheapskate.
Joe:
That’s when you have enough money to buy both of them but you only buy one.
Ruthie:
One what?
Joe:
Skate.
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